The end of a marriage typically unleashes a range of emotions. Putting aside strong feelings in favor of cooperation and managing the thornier issues of divorce with a clear head can make your split as smooth as possible. You can learn to control your emotions and think rationally by speaking with a therapist. A therapist can also teach you strategies to reduce conflict with your ex and design solutions responsive to your needs.
Talk to a Therapist
Divorce is a highly emotional time. A therapist can help you work through the scope of emotions that come along with it, from anger to guilt to sadness and grief. It’s important to have someone who can listen to your feelings, understand them and not judge you for them. If you don’t want to go to a therapist, you can find resources online or with your church or community. But a therapist who specializes in counseling for divorce can be especially helpful. It’s also a good idea to avoid venting on social media or bad-mouthing your ex to anyone. It’s also best to start dating again slowly. Take your time to return to feeling like yourself, do what you love and fully process your feelings. It will make it easier to move on when you’re ready.
Keep Your Kids Out of The Conflict
Divorce may seem like an oxymoron when you mention healthy, but the reality is that it is possible to divorce in a way that promotes a healthy life for your family. It’s important to educate yourself on the options available to you with the aid of a divorce attorney. For example, you should understand the difference between litigation and mediation. It’s also important to avoid involving your children in the conflict between you and your ex-partner. It can damage their well-being and create more stress for them than needed. Children are often caught in the middle of their parents’ disputes, and research shows that kids from low-conflict divorces tend to do better than those from high-conflict divorces. Remember the adage, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Venting about your ex in front of your children will only damage their sense of security.
Get on The Same Page with Your Ex
When separating, the most important thing you can do as a couple is to get on the same page about the things that matter most to you. It includes lifestyle, kids, finances, and friends. You must comprehend the legal procedure to weigh your divorce possibilities intelligently. You’ll be able to avoid expensive errors like attempting to “win” every fight or being overly aggressive. If you’re dealing with high-conflict situations, consider mediation. It can save you time and money and make the entire process far less stressful for everyone involved. Lastly, remember that divorce isn’t the time to try and teach your ex a lesson or make their life miserable. It’s a time to say goodbye to the wrong things in your relationship, including hurt feelings and bad memories. Focusing on the future, not the past, will benefit you in the long run. It is a new chapter in your life, and you deserve to start it happy and healthy.
Be Patient with Yourself
Nobody plans to be divorced when they get married, but according to statistics, you have a roughly 50/50 probability of doing so at some time. That means you should be patient with yourself when it comes to separating. It can take time to gather the necessary documentation and negotiate an agreement. You may also have to wait for your partner to go to the same place you mentally want to reconcile. Listen to your inner voice; if it tells you this is the best course of action for your relationship, honor that. Separation is a loss, and it’s important to mourn that loss. However, weaponizing your separation or bad-mouthing your ex in front of your kids and family is not a good idea. Doing so can put a lot of distance between you and those who care about you. It’s also important to stay off social media and resist the urge to vent your situation to anyone who will listen.